Transmogrifications
by AshKeaton
Summary: 1976. Severus Snape and Remus Lupin are supposed to be mortal enemies. Snape is at a crucial point in his life and Lupin has an even bigger secret now than being a werewolf but has no one to tell it to. Could their paths cross in a different way than fate originally intended and save them both? Snape/female!Lupin but with a trans twist.


**AN:** Hilo. This is the first anything I'm posting online so be nice xD  
It's a story where a character from the original books is transgender sooo it goes without saying that if that fundamentally is a problem to anyone, they probably shouldn't go ahead and read this bit of writing.

I don't own Harry Potter, of course. That belongs to J.K. Rowling and I just like her books and characters, and having fun with them.

* * *

Chapter 1: A New Year

Severus Snape sighed deeply as he climbed the steps onto the Hogwarts Express. Another school year was about to begin and as much as he was relieved to leave home for another ten months, he had never dreaded returning to Hogwarts more than he did right now. It was the first time he would be taking this trip without Lily.

After having lashed out at her and called her _that_ word at the end of last year, and her breaking off their seven year friendship, he'd apologized profusely. Begged her to forgive him. But for the first time she hadn't and that was it. Now all Severus had were his friends in Slytherin. Evan Rosier and Owen Wilkes. Although he didn't like them that much, they weren't the worst. That was Mulciber, another Slytherin a year older than them, and Avery. They were right in with the Dark Lord and were some of the cruelest people at Hogwarts. However, they were his and his friends' best chance of joining the Death Eaters eventually. And then he would be able to get Lily back.

Severus was suddenly pulled out of his train of thought when he bumped into someone who had stopped abruptly in front of him.

"Oof! Watch where you're going!" he hissed. Remus Lupin turned around looking taken aback and spaced out.

"Er. Sorry."

"Airheaded fool."

Lupin's brows furrowed.

"You don't have to be a jerk, you know."

Severus looked him up and down, noting that the proud idiot had already pinned his prefect badge to his robes. As if he deserved it.

"Neither do you but when has that ever stopped you?" Severus said in a low voice.

He walked past Lupin, shoving his shoulder into the taller boy's as he walked past him.

"Hey! What's that supposed to…" Lupin's voice trailed off and Severus continued on his way, ignoring the dunderhead.

Remus Lupin. The coward. The most unassuming member of James Potter's little gang. They'd first met before all of that. He was an outsider like him. He'd felt drawn to him even though he was a Gryffindor, as had Lily. But then the monthly absences began. And after that, Potter sank his claws into him and any chance of friendship between them evaporated completely.

As one of the gang, Lupin hardly if ever participated in the pranks and hexing that Potter the other two partook in. But he never did anything to stop it either. Just tacitly approved of it in his innaction, ensuring that Severus considered him another one of his worst enemies at Hogwarts. Even after being made Prefect last year Lupin still did nothing to reign his friends in.

Then there was the matter of the aforementioned monthly absences. Severus had noticed them soon into his first year. Clearly Potter had too. Severus had theories for a long time and once Potters gang became really popular, and really horrible, he had become almost obsessed with confirming his theory in order to expose Lupin and ruin them all. This had led to the incident last year where Severus found out the secret and confirmed his suspicions about him. And also when he almost died and was made to keep quiet by the headmaster.

Black had come to him and given him a hint about Lupin being moved after dark by the matron to the Whomping Willow. Desperate to catch Lupin, Severus failed to be as suspicious of Black as he normally would have been and followed the lead. That's when he found himself face to face with a fully transformed werewolf and came close to being mauled to death by it. Potter, of course, had been the one to stop Severus from getting too close and so felt he had saved his life. Everyone felt that was the case, even Lily of all people. It was disgraceful to Severus. Black had gotten in a lot of trouble but no one had been expelled. And after a stern talking-to, Severus had been ordered to keep quiet about it.

He groaned, not wanting to remember that anymore, and brought his attention back to the search for his friends on the train. Most compartments he walked by were already filled with groups of friends. In one he spotted her. Lily. She was smiling and talking excitedly with her friends. He looked away and walked past quickly. It hurt, seeing her and not being able to talk to her like before.

"Hey, Snape!"

He turned around. A fellow 6th year Slytherin, Violet Chapman, was poking her head out of a compartment he'd just walked past. She waved him over.

"I'm bored. Sit with me?" she said, making puppy dog eyes at him.

Severus peered into the compartment and found it empty. "Where's Burke?"

"She's headed off. Prefect meeting, remember?"

"Oh, right. Well, I'm looking for Owen and Evan."

"A pretty girl asks you to sit with her and you'd rather hang out with those blokes?" she said, smirking.

He looked her over. Violet Chapman _was_ attractive but she was dating Atticus Parkinson, who had graduated last year and therefore not someone he wanted to cross.

"How's Parkinson?"

"Oh he's well. Busy and not here which sucks."

"Too bad for you."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Lily Evans still not talking to you?"

"No."

"Ah. Too bad for you."

"Indeed. I'll see you around, Chapman."

"Kaaay."

Waving at him, she went back into the compartment and closed the sliding door, leaving Severus to continue his search. Eventually he found his friends near the front of the train and when he entered the compartment they pulled him in, closed the door and shushed him.

"What are you doing?" droned Severus.

"I was about to tell Owen!" whispered Evan. "Come in and sit down."

Severus shrugged ever so slightly and sat down opposite Evan next to Owen.

"Spit it out," said Owen.

"I heard from Mulciber. His father, Avery's, and mine got together this summer. With the Dark Lord."

Owen gasped. Severus stared at them, his expression blank.

"And?"

"Mulciber and Avery might be joining them this year. Cause they're of age. And, well…" Evan grinned. "I might be next."

"That's wicked! Right, Severus?"

"Sure."

"Oh, come on. Are you still on about Evans? You've been holding out on us 'cause of her but that mudblood dropped you the first chance she got. It's time to come off it, don't you think?"

Severus's fists were balled inside his robe pockets and he resisted the urge to glare at Wilkes. Or to strangle him. He wasn't wrong but he was in a bad enough mood without having it shoved in his face.

"Whatever."

Owen rolled his eyes and turned to Evan. "Tell me more."

Severus tuned them out quickly and just took out his potions textbook that he'd need for N.E.W.T. level potions this year. It was second hand, had belonged to his mother when she'd been a student. Ignoring the other two as he was not in the mood to hear that slur or about Death Eaters at the moment. he poured all his attention into the new concoctions and recipes and instructions for his new classes. He'd already read the whole thing and filled the margins with lots of small notes and speculations about changes that could be made. He'd also written some reminders for himself of the spells he had created in the past two years like Sectumsempra and Levicorpus.

Levicorpus had, of course, gotten out because he showed it to his friends in order to impress them. Seeing as how James Potter himself used his own spell against him at the end of last year, Severus very much regretted sharing it in the first place, even if he needed to gain favour with them in order to get ahead.

Sectumsempra was his little secret, still. It would be useful if he was ever in mortal danger again. From Potter's gang or Lupin's werewolf form. If his fellow Slytherins one day turned on him, he might need it so unless he managed to get under the Dark Lord's protection, he had no intention of showing that one to anyone.

Hours flew by, the trolley witch stopped by (Severus of course got nothing because he didn't have any spending money), and the train arrived at Hogsmeade without incident. As he made his way out onto the platform, he spotted Lily and the other prefects shepherding the new students towards Hagrid and making sure everyone had their robes on.

_She was always really good at the Prefect thing last year,_ he thought to himself.

_**Except when it came to Potter and friends. Or have you forgotten? How she didn't do anything with her position that day?**_

Severus squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. Intrusive thoughts. What a wonderful time for that…

_She stood up for me. I'm the one who fucked everything up._

_**Didn't even give them detention or take points from her own house for it. What makes her any better than someone like Lupin?**_

_That monster is way worse! He's a coward!_

Severus bumped into someone for the second time that day while walking through the crowd of students. The person turned around and it was Lupin again with a stupid look on his face.

"Oh, er. Sorry… again," he said dimly.

"Get out of my way, _beast_," Severus whispered, his eyes narrowed in contempt.

Lupin's eyes widened and there was a hint of hurt there but Severus didn't care. Lupin gaped at him for a few seconds.

"Snape…"

Severus scoffed. This coward didn't even deserve to utter that man's last name.

"Whatever."

He kept walking and casually made his way towards the castle. 

* * *

Remus Lupin looked like a boy. But for many years now had felt like anything but. Instead Remus had always felt like a girl. She'd repressed this feeling since she started to recognize it but when it became too overwhelming and she decided to do some research, she found out that her feelings had precedent in the wizarding world and even in the Muggle one.

With Muggles it was taken less seriously by society but nonetheless it was called being transgender and having gender dysphoria: a discomfort and disconnect between your body's gender and your internal sense of gender. In the wizarding world, Remus was what was known as a crossed-soul witch: A witch born in a wizard's body. A female soul in a male vessel. And along with that came lots of discomfort about her body, especially since she'd started puberty during her second year at Hogwarts. Being a werewolf certainly didn't help things either.

Of course, no one else knew about this but her. Not even James, Sirius, Peter or her parents knew, so she continued living as a guy and being called Remus and 'mister' and 'he' while trying to let the wrong feeling of it all just roll off her. But it was getting harder to put up with each year. She wanted to do something about it. She needed to. What if she waited too long and it became too late to do anything?

None of her research into her condition yielded anything else either. She didn't know if there was a spell or potion or ritual or anything that a crossed-soul witch could use to change their body that way. But there had to be, right?

Remus was brought out of her musings in the hallway of the Hogwarts Express by someone bumping into her back.

"Oof! Watch where you're going!" hissed a familiar voice. She turned around and found herself face to face with Severus Snape.

She remembered a vague time during the first week of class they ever had where they were civil with each other. The rest of it was just them hating each other. Or at least him hating her and her friends, and her being scared of him. Then after what happened last year she could only imagine what he must think of her. However, even with everything, Remus actually didn't hate him like the others and felt there was no reason to.

"Er. Sorry," she said quietly, avoiding the shorter boy's glare.

"Airheaded fool," Snape spat out.

Slightly hurt by his words, she straightened herself up and glared at him.

"You don't have to be a jerk, you know."

Snape looked her up and down with a judgemental look on his face.

"Neither do you but when has that ever stopped you?" he said.

Snape then walked past her, shoving his shoulder into hers as he did.

"Hey! What's that supposed to…" Her voice trailed off and Snape disappeared into a small crowd of wandering students.

Had he just called her a jerk? What had she ever done to him? Even the full moon incident hadn't been her fault. It'd been Sirius'. Sighing, she turned back around and made her way towards the back compartment for the prefect meeting.

When she entered it was already quite full. Almost all of the prefects and the head students were there already. The only person she really knew was Lily Evans so once she spotted her she walked right up to her.

"Hey Evans."

"Oh, Lupin. Hi," said Lily with a slight smile.

"How was your summer?"

"Oh, you know. Kind of boring. Lots of family time and such."

"Ah, yeah. Gotcha."

"Yours?"

"About the same."

"I see, I see."

Remus looked around the room. Her eyes met with the 6th year Slytherin prefect, Eleanor Burke, who was for some reason glaring at them with a haughty look on her face. Was she a friend of Snape's or something?

Soon after that, the head students began the meeting and they were all assigned patrolling times. Then Remus went back to the compartment she was sharing with her friends and they caught up and joked around for the remainder of the trip between her doing her rounds. Once the train had stopped, she joined the other prefects in shepherding the new students along the Hogsmeade platform and towards Hagrid.

While she was doing this someone bumped into her again. Turning around with a sense of dread, it was exactly who she feared. Severus Snape once more.

"Oof!"

She felt an urge to say 'we've got to stop meeting like this' but somehow she didn't think joking would go down very well with the notoriously short-tempered Slytherin.

"Oh, er. Sorry… again," she said instead.

"Get out of my way, _beast_," said Snape, his eyes narrowed at her.

Taken aback by the jab, Remus just gaped at him for a few seconds.

"Snape…"

After he found out she was a werewolf because of Sirius' prank last year, Dumbledore had assured her that he wouldn't ever share the information and that severe consequences had been outlined to him in the event that he did. But it seemed he was still really angry at her in particular for it.

Snape scoffed.

"Whatever."

With that he rushed past her towards the carriages, leaving her standing there, her hands balled up into fists.

"Moony!"

She turned around and saw the rest of the gang running towards her with their wands out.

"Was that Snivellus?" said Sirius, his expression, well, serious.

"Snape, yeah. He just… we bumped into each other."

"Are you okay, mate?" said James, his brow furrowed.

"Yeah, why?"

"Your eyes. They're red."

"Did he hurt you?" said Sirius, louder now.

"N-no. I'm fine. C'mon, let's just find a carriage."

Remus spent the rest of the trip to the castle in deep thought. She should tell them, she thought… but she had no idea how they'd react. She didn't know if they knew about crossed-souls or how they felt about the idea. She had spent the past 5 years sharing the dorm and the bathroom with them. Her being a girl would ruin everything…

"I swear to Merlin, if that greasy git tries anything again this year," said James as they got out of the carriage.

"Y-yeah!" said Peter.

"Well hey, at least Evans hates him now, right?" said Sirius, turning to James. His face lit up.

"That's true. D'you think I might have a chance, then?"

"I'm sure!" said Peter, a bit overenthusiastically.

"I dunno, mate," said Sirius. "But at least you won't have to deal with him all the time anymore just to talk to her."

James grinned in a very self-satisfied manner. Remus sighed. She didn't like when they derived pleasure from others' misery.

The feast went as the previous ones had. A new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was introduced to no one's surprise (it was a clear pattern at this point and everyone just assumed all Defense teachers had a one year contract), warnings about the Forbidden Forest and the Whomping Willow were given out (which made her friends grin), the first years got sorted, and a speech about the dark times ahead was given.

Remus had been distracted through the whole thing, though. Barely touching her food that Peter served for her in her distraction. She'd be going back to the boy's dormitory again. Keeping up the lie. She hated it. She wanted to change something about it. Tell someone… do _something_ about it… but she didn't know that much about charms or potions and she couldn't trust anyone. Not with this. At least she felt like she couldn't… It was too big.

"Oi, Moony!"

James was waving a hand in front of her face. She sat up quickly and looked at him, startled.

"Feast is over. We're going upstairs. You've got to do your prefect thing, right?"

"O-oh! Yeah, right. I'll, er, see you in a few."

She leapt from her seat and hurried to where the other prefects were gathered before the head table.

"What's up with him today?" said Sirius.

James shrugged. "No clue, mate."

"Maybe it's the moon?" said Peter in a low voice.

"Maybe… c'mon let's go."


End file.
